Timothy Dexter

This guy is a real badass. He’s got a pretty interesting story, but I’ll let you read about him yourself if you so desire. Long story short - he was kind of a dimwit, but he got really lucky and ended up being super rich. The other rich folk at the time didn’t like him since he was all dimwitted and what not. Even his wife gave him shit. So he eventually decided he wasn’t gonna take their shit anymore. He started telling people his wife died and that the “drunken nagging woman” they saw was just her ghost. The best part is really a short excerpt - 

“One day he began to wonder what people would say about him after he died. He proceeded to announce his death and to prepare for a burial. About 3,000 people appeared for the wake. However, Dexter’s wife refused to cry for his passing, for which he later caned her, and so he decided not to appear to his guests at all.”

(via:wiki)

Yeah, this guy faked his own death. Then, when his wife didn’t cry, he beat her ass. How does it get any better than that?? Social justice at it’s best if you ask me.

Also: This guy gets extra points cause he wrote a book called “A Pickle for the Knowing Ones.” The book contained no punctuation and capital letters were used randomly. This guy really didn’t give a fuck.